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Maybe most of us have gone through attachment problems with things, people, moments and even achievements. The question is why? (…) among many answers we may find the ego and the assumption that life must be as planned, as if it was a check list that must be perfect. The bad news is that our life is not perfect, because we are not in paradise.
As the Holy Qur’an reveals (57:20) “Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children – like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris (…)” “And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion.”
The truth is that there is a perfect order in everything and maybe we will spend a day, a week or our whole life trying to fathom the reason of many events in our lives. And that is because our comprehension is limited. Therefore, it is necessary to accept that this life is ephemeral and imperfect because it is a test, a stop before the real goal: the eternal life for which we must work and persevere. Otherwise, it would be very hard to achieve the happiness that we long for, thanks to the aspirations, products, services and life style that this society taught us that was necessary to be happy and “complete”.
The reality is that it is not easy to fully understand that nothing in this life is guaranteed, and that everything is under the perfect, divine and supreme wisdom of Allah SWT, which sometimes may not agree with our personal goals and desires.
However, there is a path to really enjoy what we have today and to deal with the pain caused for what is gone: the detachment.
I have to be clear in that detachment is not necessarily to quit on goals, relationships, and positions that one may have, but as the Ustada Yasmin Mogahed said: it is about to appreciate and enjoy what we have today but holding it to in our hands and not in our heart because that place is only reserved for what is eternal and permanent and that is only Allah SWT. Otherwise, any relationship that we have with some other thing will be unhealthy and dependent ultimately making us its slave
Once that object, person or job that enslaves us is taken away (because it will be) we feel that our soul breaks. Sometimes is very hard to recover from those losses because we have put our life, feelings, thoughts and actions around that ephemeral thing.
The always existent good side of the story is that these losses help us to put things in the right place, putting our creator in our hearts. HE is the provider of the things we love and of the things that help us to shape our soul, so we will be able to know him and love him more, at the time we know ourselves, because in this way we will truly know that without Him nothing is possible and that His absence will cause us an immense void that many people unsuccessfully try to fill with worldly and momentary things (relationships, work, drugs, among others). This path will make their lives a constant roller coaster caused by the happiness and pain of winning and losing things, but keep craving.
Reflection written during the fourth year anniversary of my conversion to Islam. Based on the book of the Ustada Yasmin Mogahed “Reclaim your heart”